I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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