You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
