I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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