i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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