Having a random hookup so left but love u
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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