I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
