How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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