yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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