4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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