GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I need a beard to bite.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
