if i can run in heels then i can drive
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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