I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
