did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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