My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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