So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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