Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
