there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I am available for nakedness
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
