I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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