I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
two words: eviction party
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
