if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
