belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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