You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
home. puking in laundry basket.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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