i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
How does it feel to date your dad?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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