i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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