And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i think i have two assholes
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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