I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
