Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
