I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
