It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
