remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
