it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
