And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
