For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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