If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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