You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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