her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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