He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
