Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We have so much sex to catch up on
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
