So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
