it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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