doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
