But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
