But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
