like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
