I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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