dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
