I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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