...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
