im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
