1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She's the barista slut.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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