I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
