You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize