office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
