windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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