question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
