Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
