Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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