Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
You smell like stripper and shame
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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