Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I will pee on everything he values.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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