We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
