Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize
