You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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