tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
