I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
